Exodus 8 through 11

Moses went to Pharaoh day after day asking him to let God's people go, so that they may worship God, yet Pharaoh only hardened his heart. There was a plague of frogs, gnats, flies, livestock, boils, the worst hail storm ever, locusts, darkness, and the firstborn. Moses would tell Pharaoh that if he let God's people go this all would be taken away...Pharaoh would go to Moses and say,"I have sinned against the LORD your God and against you. Now forgive my sin once more and pray to the LORD your God to take this deadly plague away from me..." Yet, even after Moses prayed to God and even after God forgave Pharaoh his sin and removed the plague away from Pharaoh, Pharaoh still hardened his heart to God and would not let His people go.

Pharaoh is not the only one who has hardened his heart to God. I believe, at times, we all harden our hearts to God and allow sin to flow freely in our lives. We say, at least, I know I have...God, I am sorry, for this sin, please help me through it, please make me stronger, I will not continue to sin like this. Yes, just like Pharaoh, I have prayed just like that, but continued to sin. The amazing thing, however, is that every time Pharaoh asked to be forgiven his sin, God forgave...even though God knew that Pharaoh would still harden his heart. God knows all and knew Pharaoh would continue to sin, continue to harden his heart, yet, he still forgave every time and removed the plagues from him. At the same time however, there is consequences to continuing to sin. The plagues close to Pharaoh were the consequences for his choice to continuing to sin. I am thankful for both these things - thankful that even though I continue to sin day after day, God forgives day after day and that He teaches me with consequences. Both of these things, even though they may be painful and hard make me grow. That is what I am extremely thankful for! This life is about growing! Thank You Jesus!

Exodus 5-7

In these chapters Moses and Aaron do as God tells them, going to Pharaoh and telling him that the Lord, the God of Israel, has said for him to let His people go. However, the Pharaoh's heart is hardened and no matter what he does not listen. He treats the people even more horribly, working them harder than before. Moses finds this frustrating, returning to the Lord, asking Him why He has brought trouble upon the people?

God makes a promise - that even though the Pharaoh's heart is hardened now, even though he is not believing, the people will be delivered. He tells Moses that He remembers the covenant He made and because of His mighty hand Pharaoh will let His people go! He tells Moses to say to the Israelites, "I am the LORD, and I will bring you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. I will free you from being slaves to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with mighty acts of judgment. I will take you as my own people, and I will be your God. Then you will know that I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from under the yoke of the Egyptians. And I will bring you to the land I swore with uplifted hand to give to Abraham, to Isaac and to Jacob. I will give it to you as a possession, I am the LORD (Exodus6:6-8). He tells this to the Israelites, but they still do not listen because they have been treated so awfully.

So the LORD tells Moses to go back to Pharaoh and tell him everything that He says. He tells Moses that to Pharaoh Moses is like a God and that Aaron is like a prophet...He tells him that he needs to say everything He tells him and that Aaron is to tell Pharaoh to let the Israelites go from his country. Yet, the LORD also makes it known that He is going to harden Pharaoh's heart and Pharaoh will not listen to them still. Then, God will lay His hands on Egypt and with mighty acts of judgment He will bring out His divisions and because of this the Egyptians will know that He is the LORD.

The LORD tells Moses that when Pharaoh asks Moses to preform a miracle because he still does not believe...to throw down his and Aaron's staffs and they will turn into snakes. Pharaoh called wise men and sorcerers, and Egyptian magicians to him...they did the same thing...throwing down their staffs and turning them into snakes. And even though Aaron's snake swallowed up all the others, Pharaoh's heart was still hard. So, the LORD again tells Moses to do another miracle. He tells him, that when Pharaoh goes to get water from the Nile to turn into blood, so Moses does as he is told but because the Egyptian magicians can do the same, his heart does not change...and this is when the plague begins.


The fact that Pharaoh's heart is hardened to the LORD is nothing new, at least not when I look at the world I live in now. There are so many hearts that are hardened to Him, so many hearts that do not know Him. Yet, God does not give up when people's hearts are hardened! How thankful I am for that! I do not believe anyone would have a heart for the LORD if it weren't for the fact that He is a persistent, all loving God. He does not give up on us when we say we do not believe, when we do not want Him to be apart of our lives, when we walk away from Him. Time and time again...He presses at our hearts trying desperately to soften them. I am so thankful that He does not give up...that He believes in me, that He wants to be in my life, and that He doesn't walk away from me! He is so good and faithful! His hand is mighty - it is such a strong hand that is able to pull people out of the biggest hole, the biggest pain, the biggest lie. It is such a strong hand that is able to soften the hardest of hearts. I believe that these things - slavery (or other hard things) and hardened hearts are still for a reason. Yes, they are difficult, but they happen so we can see God's strength and His love. If it weren't for those things would we be able to see how strong and mighty He really is? He allows the awful things...the hardened hearts...so He can use His hand and set us free, so we can see how truly great He is and how much all of creation needs Him!

Exodus 1 through 4

In the beginning of Exodus we find out that the Israelites are being oppressed. There are too many people in Egypt so if a Hebrew woman gives birth to a boy the midwives are supposed to kill it, but if a Hebrew woman gives birth to a girl, it is to live. However, the midwives did not agree with killing a boy, so the Pharaoh then ordered that all boys that are born are to be thrown into the Nile, but all girls are still to live. Some time later...a Levite woman gave birth to a baby boy. She hid him for three months, but when she couldn't any longer she put him in a basket and put it among the reeds along the bank of the Nile. Pharaoh's daughter found the baby and had it taken care of by a Hebrew woman until the baby was older and then it was brought back to her. This is when she named the boy Moses.

One day when Moses was grown up he was observing his own people working hard. While watching he noticed an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, one of his own people. Noticing that no one was around he killed the Egyptian and hid him in the sand. Later on it became known to the Pharaoh that Moses had killed an Egyptian and Pharaoh wanted to kill Moses because of this. Knowing this Moses fled to a place known as Midian. Here he sat by a well, where seven daughters came to get water to tend to their fathers flock. Some shepherds came and drove them away, but Moses came to their rescue helping them tend to the flock. He was then invited to their home and one of the fathers daughter was given to Moses as a wife. During this time the Israelites groaned because they were in slavery...they cried out to God and He was concerned for them.

Moses tended to his father-in-laws flock and one day when he lead the flock to the far side of the desert he came to Horeb, which is the mountain of God. Here is where the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire within a bush. Moses noticed that this bush did not burn up and went to see why the bush did not burn up. When the Lord saw that Moses went over to the bush, He spoke to Him through the bush. The Lord told Moses that He was going to send him to the Pharaoh to bring His people the Israelites out of Egypt. God told Moses to go, but to God Moses said, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?" And God responded by telling him, "I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain." He told Moses to tell them that "I AM" sent Him to bring them out of their misery... God made this His promise...that He would bring His people out of their misery.

Yet, Moses wasn't sure...He asked "what if people don't believe me or listen to me?" The Lord showed that they would believe Him by miraculous signs... either his staff turning into a snake, or his hand turning into leprosy, or water turning into blood. Still Moses was hesitant...expressing that he has never been eloquent and has always been slow of speech and tongue. The Lord, however, said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." Yet, even after this Moses begged the Lord to send someone else. The Lord, however, pushed Moses forward, still telling him to go.

So Moses went back to Egypt...performing the Pharaoh all the wonders given to him by God. Yet, the Pharaoh's heart was hardened and he would not let his people go. Moses kept on trying and in the end the people of Israel believed Moses and bowed down and worshiped.

There are a few things in this story that stuck out to me. One, how the Lord spoke to Moses. At times, I believe God can only speak to me in certain ways...in simple ways. What ways I don't know, but I do know that there are times when He could be speaking to me, but it seems so unreal that I think, "this couldn't possibly be God speaking to me!" However, if God can speak to Moses through a burning bush...He can speak to me in ways that are different also. Then, I thought about how, like Moses, I don't think God could use me...could send me. Moses didn't believe He had what it took for God to use him in helping Him set His people free. He didn't believe He had the right words, but God reminded Him that HE takes care of it all. God gives us the words we need... and the words we don't need...aren't there. God gives us the gifts we need for the things He wants us to do. God gives us what we need in order to do what He asks of us. So, yes, there are times when I don't think I have what I need in order to work for God, but just like He told Moses, He will help him, He will also help me. He will also be with me. What peace that brings!

Genesis 41 through 50

In these chapters Joseph comes into contact with his brothers, who once sold him into slavery. At first they do not know it is him, but finally he makes himself known. He tells them, "I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been a famine in the land, and for the next five years there will not be plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on the earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God." (Genesis 45: 4-8).

What stuck out here to me is Joseph telling his brothers that him being where he is had nothing to do with them selling him into slavery, but that God placed him where he is! There are things that happen in life that are hard and painful. Sometimes it seems like its caused by other people... he hurt me, she betrayed me, he did this, she did that... and while that may be the case I believe God has a purpose for all those things. Of course God does not want us to be in pain, to hurt in any way, but at the same time the hard times we go through...the pain we feel...it can be used by Him. There is a reason for all things in life - all pain, all heartache. I believe that God does not want us to hurt, but I believe He allows it to use us... possibly in ways we will never understand. He may use our pain, our experiences in life to send us somewhere... to places, maybe where there are hurting souls who we can help because we've been there... Somehow our pain or obstacles sends us somewhere even if its just pushing us more towards God and leaning on and obeying Him. Maybe the only thing is does is send us towards a deeper, more intimate relationship with God. I think this goes for good things as well. Wherever we are, whatever we have in life...its all from God!

Joseph gets to see his father for a while before he dies. His brothers are fearful that without their father around Joseph will hold a grudge against them and try to pay them back from all the wrongs they did to him (Genesis50:15). So, they send word to Joseph telling him that his father left instructions for him, saying," I ask you to forgive your brothers the sins and the wrongs they committed in treating you so badly. Now please forgive the sins of the servants of the God of your father." (Genesis50:16-17). This made Joseph weep, but when his brothers came to him, he said to them, "Don't be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don't be afraid. I will provide for you and your children." (Genesis50:19-21).

This stuck out to me because of his forgiveness... I like how it happened. He forgave his brothers even though they hurt him deeply - even though they pulled him away from his family and sold him into slavery. He still forgave... it takes a strong person to forgive...I think. I also liked how he told them that yes, they intended to cause him harm, but everything that happened to Joseph, God intended to be for good. I want to think like that... I want to be able to forgive those who have hurt me deeply... and truly and wholeheartedly believe, that yes, they intended to hurt me, but God intended for their hurting me to be used in a good way. I think maybe that makes forgiving easier...knowing that there is a reason for all of it.

Thought of today: Wherever I am, whatever I am doing...If I am doing it FOR God, if I am following Him, then He will take care of me.


I am so thankful that His hands are full of love for me and that in His hands He holds my life. Thank You Lord for having such a caring and loving heart.

Important aspects of my relationship with Him

My relationship with God changes constantly. At times there are dry spells, where I barely read my Bible or write to Him (writing to Him is how I pray a lot of the time...not that I don't just have conversation with Him..I do that as well) and there are times where I feel His presence so strongly in my life, yet, there are also those times when I can't seem to feel Him or hear Him...His presence seems to be absent (this is untrue - He is always there, whether I feel Him or not. He never forsakes, never leaves). Today I was thinking a lot about my relationship with Him. A relationship with Him involves so much... sometimes I cannot even explain how much it involves because there is so much depth to it. It's like a friendship, but even more intimate than that because He knows all. He knows the parts of my of my life, of my heart that I let Him see, yet He also knows the parts I try to hide. Yet again - He knows the parts of my heart I don't even know! He knows me deep down to my soul. He knows me more deeply than anyone ever could! And He loves me even more than that! How awesome is that?!? It's even more amazing that He knows everything and still loves. How often does a person love you no matter what you do? How often does someone look at the choices you've made, the sins you've committed and still fully love you? No one loves like He does. It is a love that cannot be fully comprehended, not even just a little bit. We can only understand so much of it. So, as I was thinking about this a question popped into my head: What is the most important part of my relationship with my God? All aspects of my relationship with Him are important and needed, but there are a few, that lately, I really feel I could not go on without....


One is reading my Bible, yet there is more to it than that. It's easy to just pick up and read the words (okay not easy, but at times it feels easier...) but what is harder is to actually think about the words and what they mean for me. At times, when I've read my Bible, I couldn't help but think "this is so boring!" but that was when I was only reading the words, not really taking them in, not really meditating on them. Joshua 1:8 says, "Do not let this book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you will be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." God's word tells us to meditate on His word day and night, not just to read it, but to think about it, to use it in life! And I've found when I do that I learn more about Him and what He wants for this world, for His children. I also enjoy reading His words more when I do this. His word is good and true!



The other thing I know I cannot live without is prayer. I know my prayer life isn't where it should be or at least I want it to be so much stronger than it is. I do write to God...I share the deepest parts of my heart with Him in my journals and I talk to Him through out the day, but I want it to be more than that... I want their to be a passion when it comes to me praying, I want to be in prayer constantly. There is a quote that says, "To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing." If there isn't prayer then the relationship really isn't there. You can't have a relationship with someone if you don't speak to them. Sure, God isn't sitting by your side physically, but He is there! He is listening! And He is speaking! I've come to realize this more and more... He listens to me and hears my prayers...He answers them. When I pray to Him I find my relationship with Him strengthening. I find that I have more faith and I believe more!

Lord, thank you that I have a relationship with You that grows each and everyday. Thank You for Your words and giving me the chance to be able to meditate on them. Thank You for my ability to pray and thank You for hearing me and answering my many prayers. Thank You for You!

Now, tell me, everyone.... what's something in your relationship with God you can't live without?!?

His love is big, deep, and great.

I was reading a book earlier in which a preacher was going to do a sermon about the Messiah coming. I started thinking about when the Messiah was coming and wondered what people thought. Sure, there were those who didn't believe.... then there were those who thought Jesus was just a good man. There were also those who wanted Him dead....but then there were those who fully believed and followed Him.

What about those who believed He was coming? Did they fully understand what it meant - Jesus coming for us and dying for us? Did they understand what it meant for God to send His ONLY son to live just like we live? Did they understand how big, how deep, how great His love must be for us to do such a thing? Did they understand what it meant for Him to die for our sins? Did they know that all this would change our lives? Make our lives better?

I'm not sure even the believers, who had such strong faith, who followed Him without questioning, without doubting - could even fully KNOW how great, how life changing all those things are. God sent His son...His only son to die for us. I know that I couldn't imagine allowing or sending someone I love so much to die for someone else. But Jesus loves us that much! He loves the whole world...all His children of this world so much that He sent His only son to die to show us that love. He sent Him to die for our sins so we could be free, so we could live a life that glorifies Him, so we could live our lives to the fullest. That love....is so much more bigger, so much deeper, so much greater then we will ever be able to comprehend.

His love is bigger, deeper, and greater than the ocean. That love is so big and so amazing that I cannot fathom it and I love that.... I love that I cannot comprehend it because that means I always have to draw closer to Him to even get a glimpse of His love.

Thank you God for loving me.

"One anothers"

I often find it hard to be surrounded by people. Now, I'm not saying that I don't like them (even though I know at times that is how it does come across) or don't care for them, but I often wonder how I am supposed to live with people? How am I supposed to act around them? How am I supposed to treat them? Well, thinking about this I took some time to look into the Word. I found a list of -one anothers- as I will call them, which I believe is God telling us exactly how we are supposed to live with one another, how we are supposed to act around one another, and how we are supposed to treat one another. Now, some things are broad, but all are important and I believe that by looking at how Jesus lives we can apply these -one anothers- more specifically.

So, what are the -one anothers-?
love one another - John13:35
be devoted to one another. honor one another above yourselves. -Romans12:10
live in harmony with one another. -Romans12:16
accept one another.-Romas15:7
instruct one another.-Romas15:14
agree with one another.-1Cor1:10
serve one another.-Galations5:13
bear with one another in love.-Ephesians4:2
be kind and compassionate to one another.-Ephesians4:32
speak to one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. -Ephesians5:19
submit to one another.-Ephesians5:21
spur one another on towards love and good deeds.-Hebrews10:24

I know it isn't always possible to do these things considering we are sinful being and we do make mistakes, but I believe with my whole heart we are supposed to strive to do these things...these things can shape our hearts to be much like God's heart.

Genesis 35 through 40

In these chapters we learn about Joseph. He has dreams where things are bowing down to him, such as the sun, moon, and eleven stars (Genesis37:9). His brothers hated him for the fact that they were possibly going to bow down to him. They hated him so much that they planned to kill him, but instead sold him into slavery. While being a servant, his servants wife came to realize how great and good looking Joseph was that she tried to get him to sleep with her. However, Joseph knew that this would not honor God, but that this would be a sin against Him, so he ran from the woman after she kept on pressuring him to do such a thing. However, this woman did not appreciate Joseph not doing as she told him, so she accused him of trying to get her to sleep with him and he was placed in jail. However, God was with Joseph. God was kind to Joseph and granted him favor in the eyes of the prison warden. So the warden put Joesph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. The warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph's care, because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did (Genesis39:21-23).

This story of Joseph and God giving him success no matter what He did, made me think about following Him. If we listen to Him, if we follow Him and do as He asks then we will be successful in whatever we do. God never tells us to do things to set us up for failure, but tells us to do things so we can thrive...so we can do well...so we can bring honor and glory to Him! Yes, people may not understand the things we do as followers of Jesus, as lovers of God, but still if we do as He asks those things won't bother us. We won't be bothered by their lack of understanding... Yes, people may criticize us and look down on us, thinking we are silly for believing in God, for believing He would call us to do whatever He has asked of us...but we won't be bothered by that either. We may not seem successful to others if we are following Him, but in our hearts we will know differently. We will know that listening to Him, following Him, having Him in our hearts is what success is all about!

Thought (question) of today: Do you think every aspect of life can be full of passion? There are things in life that may be boring or less entertaining than other areas, but can there still be passion in everything one does? Does Jesus want us to live with passion in all areas of our lives?

Faithfully He heals if faithfully we come

The other day I was reading a book, in which a passage from Luke was written about. I've been thinking about it the past few days and want to share because I believe it can speak to all of us in some form.

It says:
Now when Jesus returned, a crowd welcomed him, for they were all expecting him. Then a man named Jairus, a ruler of the synagogue, came and fell at Jesus' feet, pleading with him to come to his house because his only daughter, a girl of about twelve, was dying. As Jesus was on his way, the crowds almost crushed him. And a woman was there who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years, but no one could heal her. She came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak, and immediately her bleeding stopped. "Who touched me?" Jesus asked. When they all denied it, Peter said," Master, the people are crowding and pressing against you."But Jesus said, "Someone touched me; I know the power has gone out from me." Then the woman, seeing that she could not go unnoticed, came trembling and fell at his feet. In the presence of all the people, she told why she had touched him and how she had instantly been healed. Then he said to her,"Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace." -Luke8:40-48.

What sticks out here, to me, is that the woman bleed for 12 years! That is a long time! Yet, the moment she went to Jesus, the moment she had faith IN Him, the moment she reached out and simply touched Him she was healed. I've always been one to think that I should heal quickly, that the pain in my heart should only take a week (or some crazy short amount of time) to sort through and then I should be okay. I should be strong enough to deal with things quickly. Yet, I am not... sorting through painful experiences, heartache...it takes time. Sometimes much longer than we hope, but with Jesus healing is possible. If this woman Jesus healed can hurt for twelve years, then even if there is pain five years after things, even if pain in my life can last for years and years God can still heal me. If God can heal a woman who hurt for more than a decade, then I should not limit God (never should I do this because He cannot be limited! He is a limitless God!) in when He can heal me. Healing is possible now when I go to God... when I reach out and grasp Him... when I fully believe. At the same time, if I hurt for longer...if I hurt just as long as this woman, healing can still be done even years later! I am so thankful that God is all powerful. I am thankful for His healing power. For his love and forgiveness that give so much healing to the heart and the soul. Thank you God for being you.




And now I say, "Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed."
-Jeremiah17:14

All of it He paid.

As I started to write this I was going to tell you that I am trying to go back to where I used to be... I am trying to go back to church, trying to go back to my God, but the more I think about the more I realize I don't want to go backwards. I want to go forwards. I want something new, something fresh, not something old. I don't want to go backwards because that will get me to exactly where I am now. I want to go forward to new things, new experiences, a new relationship with God. However, just like its hard to go backwards sometimes its just as hard to go forewards.

I am trying to go to church, but its hard for me. I've spent the last couple years of my life having this battle inside myself - knowing I should go to church, but not being able to get past all the emotions that seem to hit me in the face when I walk in the door. I've felt like everyone in church can see my sin and that just makes me want to jump into a very dark hole and never resurface. I know its silly and untrue. God tells me that.... He tells me when I'm there, "This is the place you can be broken. It's safe here." Yet, no matter how much He speaks to me, no matter His words I throw this wall up and beg Him not to break me there, beg Him to do it anywhere else like the loneliness of my own room where no one but Him and I are. But for some reason that doesn't seem to be where He wants it to happen because I never break the way He wants me to break when I'm in church. So, every Sunday there is a battle - do I go to church and possibly break or do I stay where no one can see? Yesterday I made myself go and it was good because I did hear God. He spoke to me and told me things I really needed to hear and also gave me questions I really need to think deeply about.

As we were singing the song In Christ Alone, God spoke to me through certain lyrics. There is part of the song that says "Til on that cross as Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied." As I sang those words I had a thought cross my mind....now, maybe it was God speaking directly to my heart or maybe it was just a realization, but it was as if God was saying, "Daughter, I'm not mad at you." Sometimes, I don't realize I've felt a certain way until I have a certain experience, or hear a certain word and when I sang those words...when I sang, "the wrath of God was satisfied" I realized that deep down in my heart I thought God was mad at me. I know it doesn't make any sense because I know my God isn't an angry God, but a loving, compassionate, giving God... yet, I'd been living as if He wasn't. I've been living as if He is a God who hates me, who doesn't care, who doesn't give, but takes away. I know that this may not always been seen by people outside myself, but the closer I look at my heart the more I realize maybe this really is true. God is forgiving, but I am not. He has told me time and time again that He has forgiven me, yet I don't forgive myself... I still hold onto my past, I still hold onto old sins that God has washed clean.

As I was sitting in church I was thinking about how Jesus paid it all by dying on the cross... He paid my debt, which is bigger than any debt I could ever have. He has forgiven each and every sin I have asked Him to forgive and He will continue to do so. That is His promise. Yet, I don't forgive.... I don't let go... I hold on and beat myself up over and over again...I tear myself down. That's not what God wants. He wants me to forgive. To Love myself. To move on as if I am forgiven. It's like when I have some other debt... when I owe someone money... once I pay it, I forget about it and move on, no longer worrying. Well, that's what Jesus dying on the cross has done for me. His dying paid my debt fully and I should no longer worry or carry it around.

He paid it all - it is done and now I need to live like it.
Are you living like it?

His desire

This morning as I was getting ready for the day a question came to mind: What does God desire? What does He desire for me? for you?

Sometimes my desires get in the way of His desires. I don't always think about what God wants... for my life, for my heart. I think about what I want and I fully believe that, that can get in the way of what He wants for me. I wonder how often, if I stopped thinking about my plans, my heart, my life what God would do with those things. I believe the plans would be much bigger, my heart would be much fuller, and my life would be so much more than it is...if only I would seek His desires more than my own. In a general sense however, those things don't matter. I think God's biggest desire is for us to want Him. God doesn't need us, but He wants us. He wants us to have a deep relationship with Him. I don't think much else matters to Him other than us being His. We can have those things... we can have plans of our own, a compassionate heart, a life full of great things, but if we do not have a relationship with Him really we don't have anything at all. He desires for our plans, our hearts, our life to be about Him.

Having a relationship with Him is so much more than just speaking with Him when we feel we need Him.... not that He won't be there if that's the only time we go to Him, but He desires more than that. He wants us to have a deep relationship with Him. He wants us to consider Him a friend. He wants us to love Him and feel His love. He wants us to feel His forgiveness. He wants to be our everything and be His everything in return because to God we do mean the world...and the fact that He gave His son so we could live proves that.

Lord, Your word says to delight in You and You will give me the desires of my heart. I ask You now, to help me put aside my desires and desire what You desire. Help me to see what You desire for me and help me to go after that because Your desires are far better than my own.

Genesis 30 through 34

Life has seemed crazy lately and I haven't been reading His word or blogging like I should, but I am back!

In these chapters Jacob left home to get away from everything that happened between him and Esau. During this time he had many struggles, one being that he found a woman he wanted to marry, but the father of this woman tricked him into being with his other daughter. To me it really seemed like a huge love triangle in a way, very messy. During this time Jacob really struggled with God... not the idea of Him really, but more so had God beside him struggling through things with Him. In the end Jacob was given the new name Israel, which means God-Wrestler. He had wrestled with God and got through everything that had happened to him recently.

I love the meaning behind his new name. God-Wrestler. I think about how so often I could also be referred to as God-Wrestler. I have spent much time wrestling with God.... not understanding what He is doing in my life, not liking what I'm going through, not wanting to change... but I have come through it... it has made me stronger and I am better because of all things that have happened in my life. I'm glad that God is willing to wrestle through things with me.

More on the topic of l.o.v.e.

My previous post stuck with me the other night as I was trying to drift off to sleep. Throughout the Bible we are told to let love guide our lives. We are told to love not only our friends, but our enemies. We are told to love like God loves. Yet, it seems like an impossible task because I am not God and will never, no matter how hard I try be able to love like God loves. I want to love like He does... oh, how I wish I could. I want very much to love sincerely the way He does. I want to be able to look at everyone around me and no matter what they've done, simply love them. I want to be able to not only love my friends when they are doing what is right in my eye (which is very blind and judgmental if I do admit so myself), but when they are doing wrong, when they are driving me up the wall. I not only want to love my friends sincerely, but I want to love my enemies sincerely as well. I wish I could say I do not have enemies, but the truth is I do and I find it the most difficult to love them. I find it so difficult to not pull out the list I carry in my heart of the wrongs they've done to me and throw it in their face. I find it difficult to not want to hurt people back who've hurt me. I want to sincerely change and be able to love the way God loves.

Love is complicated...every single type of love because it seems to involve so much, but what does the Bible say love is? Well, lets look at 1 Corinthians13.

That's what love is and that's what God is. God is patient. God is kind. God isn't rude. He is about Himself, but at the same time He is about others, so much about others. He is not easily angered. He does not keep records of our wrongs- but forgives! He is not about evil, but is about the truth! God always protects, He always hopes, He always perseveres. And His love never ever fails. How awesome God's love is!

That's how I want to love, but I realize that I probably never will love like that...I wonder how often one can really love like God loves? I'm not sure its possible, but I hope that one day I will be as patient and kind as Him. I hope that one day I will not be rude, will think more about others than myself, will not be easily angered, won't holds people's mistakes against them, won't delight in evil, but the truth. I hope one day I can fully love like He does. What a great day that will be!

All He did He did for love

I can't sleep. Why? Because I'm thinking about love. No, not the mushy kind even though that has its time and place in my thoughts. Right now I'm thinking about the love that God has for the world, for his children... I'm beginning to think that love is really want makes the world turn. The Bible says out of faith, hope, and love that love is the greatest. It also says that if we do not have love then really we have nothing. Love is really what God is all about. Everything He has created, everything He has done has love written all over it.

God had so much love in Him that He created the world. He had so much love in Him that He simply had to create to get it out! What else can one do with love, but express it? His creation was Him expressing love. I think think that the fall was Him in a way expressing His love. I know sounds weird, but bare with me as I try to explain. God created the world because He had so much love in Him, but He hated the sin that Adam and Eve fell into, so He destroyed the world. Yes, he destroyed the world and all in it because He hated the sin, but He hated the sin because it caused harm and He does not want harm for His people! It caused Adam and Eve to drift away from Him, to separate from Him and that is what He really hated. He loved them so much that He wanted them to be forever connected to them because He is right, He is good. He loved them so much that He wanted what was best for them and sin is not what is good for the world, so really I believe that it was out of love that He destroyed it. Maybe I'm wrong. I'm clearly no Bible scholar, but these are just the thoughts keeping me awake.

After the flood God made a covenant that He would never again destroy the world and that was out of great love. Of course He realized that every human would still continue to sin, but He still chose to love them...no matter their sin, no matter how deep, now matter how big He decided He would forever and always love them. God then sent His son Jesus to the world...because He loved the world...He sent His son to connect with the world and then die for the world. Oh, how great a love God must feel for everyone in order to send His son to die for us! When Jesus was nailed to the cross our sin was nailed to the cross as well..and with that there was forgiveness for our sins. No one can forgive us the way God can forgive us. No one can wash us clean and make us free! All of this because He loves us! And all other things in the Bible... the laws, the rules, all His precious words are because He loves us.

I was listening to a message early by Donald Miller and he spoke of this love. He said so many things that just grabbed a hold of my heart. He said that love does not control, but it lets go. He expressed that God does not control. Yes, He very much wants us to be close to Him, to have a relationship with us, but He does not force us. Love has nothing to do with force... God does not force us to be close to Him, to have a relationship with Him and that shows His love. He gives us a choice... He knows that not everyone wants to have a relationship with Him... He even knows that some who do have a relationship with Him will walk away. But its all our choice. Love is about letting things be, letting things go. With God we are allowed to just be who we are... we are allowed to be broken, we are allowed to be a mess, we are allowed to sin, we are allowed to come and go.

No matter how broken we are.. He still loves us.
No matter how messy we are....He still loves us.
No matter how much we sin...no matter how big or small the sin is...He still loves us.
No matter how we come...He still loves us.
No matter how we go...He still loves us.
No matter what He still loves us.

Who else loves us like that? Who else loves us that much? No one ever could and no one ever will love the way God loves. It is beautiful and so right. I cannot fathom how I ever lived without His love. Donald Miller said without God's love you cannot live. Well, to him, I say I am thankful I never have to live without that love!


Thank You for Your love. Thank You for all You did in the name of Your love.
Thank You for creating... because of love.
Thank You for sending your son to die... because of love.
Thank You for the cross, for forgiving... because of love.
It is a great and beautiful thing unlike any other.

Genesis 26 through 28

The world is full of people who only think of themselves, of people who are so selfishness that they never once consider how their choices or their own actions will effect others around them. There are people in the Bible who are no different. Let me tell you the story of Jacob and Esau. They were the sons of Issac and Rebeka. Esau was the oldest and was given his name because he was born with an intense amount of hair covering his body and the youngest clearly, was Jacob, given this name because he was clutching tightly to his brothers heel. Both parents had their favorite son, if that's how you want to look at it. Isaac loved Esau because he loved his game (being a hunter and the outdoorsy type) but Rebekah loved Jacob.

Later on in life when Issac had aged and was nearly blind he called to his oldest son, Esau and told him that he was very sick and was going to die soon. He told him to go hunting and bring him a hearty meal and that he would give him his personal blessing before he died. Rebekah heard Issac tell Esau this, but she had another idea. She told Jacob that his father was going to give Esau his personal blessing and that he should pretend to be his brother, getting the blessing first. So, Jacob went out and killed two young goats in order to make his father a hearty meal...then Rebekah dressed Jacob up in Esau's dress-up clothes, and covered the rest of him with the goat skin, so when his father, Issac touched him he would believe he was Esau and bless Jacob instead.

When Jacob went to his father he lied saying that he was indeed Esau and his father gave him the blessing he intended for Esau. When Esau came to him soon after, both Esau and Issac realized that Jacob had fooled their father and stolen Esau's blessing. This made Esau very angry and he swore that he was going to kill his brother. Rebekah heard of this and she warned Jacob, telling him he must go away in order to escape his brother's vengeance.

I'd been thinking about this story all day. There are so many errors in this story, so many broken hearts. First, Issac and Rebekah both have their favorite son. They both love one son, not both, which is not how it should be. Parent's should not love one child more than the other, but both equally. But they don't and I think, maybe it's the social worker in me, that of course this was going to cause issues. It seemed to cause the house to be divided - both parents wanting what's best for the one they loved best, which maybe caused confrontation and tension between these brothers. Maybe it also caused the brothers to be selfish, which is my next thought. I can't really say who is more selfish than the other in this story because both Esau and Jacob are selfish, just like all humans. Esau was only thinking about himself and the blessing his father was going to give him. He didn't seem to think about how Jacob to might want the blessing, but then again Jacob clearly didn't think about how stealing Esau's blessing was very selfish as well. Neither of them thought about how their choices would affect the other. They made their choices simply for themselves.

This of course made me think about my selfishness. It left me asking myself how often do I make choices based on what I want? How often do I think about others before I think about myself? What would I give up for others? What would I be willing to lose. I try not to be selfish... I try to think of others before myself, but most of the time my emotions, my wants get in the way. I know that this is wrong. My past choices in life have proven that being selfish can get you nowhere but in a huge tangled mess, hurting later on down the road. My selfish choices have also hurt others greatly, much like what will happen later in the story of Esau and Jacob.

Stay tuned for more about them soon.

Genesis 23 through 25

Abraham's wife, Sarah dies and Abraham wants to find his son, Issac, a wife. However, he does not want this wife to come from the place they are at now, but from his home. He tells his servants to go back to his home and find his son a wife, one that will come back to the place where they are at now. She must come back, but if she will not then the the covenant Abraham made with his servant, to find Issac a wife, does not have to be made . The servant goes to Abraham's home and believes he has found a woman, Rebekah, who is suitable to Issac. He then prays about it. He says, "GOD, God of my master Abraham, make things turn out well in the task I've been given."-Genesis 24:42 (the message) and things do turn out well. Issac and this woman Rebekah get married. Abraham also remarries.

The prayer is something that jumped out at me. Prayer is very important to my relationship with God. We cannot have a relationship with anyone if we do not speak to them, so how can we have a relationship with God if we do not speak to Him? It's impossible even though I am sure that at times many Christians, myself included, believe that their relationship with God is just fine when they aren't speaking to Him...because yes, there are times when I do not talk to God like I should, when I do not turn to Him for the things I should, when I do not pray for others like I should. This is actually something I have been struggling with recently. Not that I'm not speaking to God, but more so I am not praying for everyone I should, but it is something I feel called to do. I feel God telling me to pray for others at times. However, sometimes the only prayer I can say is "Yeah, yeah be with them too." It's something I need to work on...in my heart.

Prayer is a task that has been set before me, that has been placed on my heart, so God please make it turn out well.

GOD-Yireh

My mind keeps on drifting back to that term. It has such a beautiful meaning to me. GOD-sees-to-it. I just love that. I love how Abraham named the place where God provided for him, GOD-Yireh. I've been thinking about places in my life that I could call that. Where in my life did my God provide? Where in my life did my God see to it?

Everywhere really. I believe deep within my heart that God saw to all my life, but I want to think more specifically.
God saw to it with the friends I made in junior high and high school. Specifically He saw to it that I made a good Christian friend who could lead me...who has continued to lead me, whether I tell her or not. (Thank you!).
God saw to it that I went to church camp and opened my heart to Him, fully, letting Him and saying "I am Yours God! My life is Yours!"
God saw to it that I had a desire to go to Tabor and He saw to it that I made it there!
God saw to it that every semester I was there it was paid for.
God saw to it that I made friends at Tabor that will always and forever be the friends I need. (Love you all and miss you!)
God saw to it that when I wasn't heading in the right direction, that there was a way out.
God saw to it that when I messed up I was forgiven!
God saw to it...all of it...more than I see and more than I ever will.

My Past- God Yireh!

My Present- God Yireh!

My Future- God Yireh!

My Heart- God Yireh!


Thank You for seeing to it!

Genesis 22

Here God tells Abraham to take his son, Isaac, to the land of Moriah. He is to sacrifice him there. Abraham does not question God, but takes his son to this land and is so close to sacrificing him when God's angel calls to him, telling him not to harm his son. Then, a ram very close by, which God provided to be sacrificed instead of Isaac. This place, where God provided the ram, Abraham named GOD-Yireh, which means GOD-sees-to-it. God's angel also tells Abraham that because he was going to offer up his son that he will be greatly blessed.

This chapter may have been very short, but it spoke volumes! First of all I am in awe of how Abraham did not hesitate when he was told to sacrifice his own son! His love for his son is great and I cannot imagine how hard it would be for him to even think about sacrificing his son, but his love for God is greater and for God, he would do anything. How awesome is that! This of course, like the Bible often does, caused me to look at my own life. What have I sacrificed for God? Not much... at least not as much as I should. When I became a Christian there were things I did give up, things I did walk away from, but still not much of a sacrifice. The summer before my junior year of college I sacrificed my fear and anxiety about traveling to Skid Roe in L.A. to work with the homeless, yet, still not much of a sacrifice. Sadly, more than often, I do not sacrifice anything for God, but rather I sacrifice God for other things. I have sacrificed my relationship with God to have relationships that were not what God wanted in my life, that did nothing but lead me far away from Him. I have sacrificed my relationship with God because of my anger, not listening to His word when it says, "In your anger do not sin"(Psalm4:4), but getting so angry that I do not honor God with my tongue or my actions. I have sacrificed my relationship with God in order to get other things... and that is heartbreaking because I truly do love God, but I am not perfect and I have not yet reached that place in our relationship where I am able to give all to God...able to sacrifice all for Him. I hope to get there, I want to get there, but in order to I have to let Him guide me, which I don't always do.

So, God, help me to sacrifice things for you, even if it means sacrificing things for me because it will.

This chapter also made me think about a theme I have already seen in the short amount of time I've been reading. Abraham named the place where God provided - GOD-Yireh, which means GOD-sees-to-it. The theme I see and will continue to see it God sees to everything. God takes care of everything whether we see it or not, in some way He provides. He does not leave us hanging, but gives us all we need. Even more than that He often blesses us. I am so thankful for those things.

I like that about Him

Earlier I wrote about walking away from God and how, at times, that seems like something much more easier than staying with Him. It made me think of something I had written elsewhere, which I now want to put here...along with other thoughts mixed in.

I have had hard relationships. I think all relationships are difficult. Now, maybe not in the same way, but in some area they all need work. My relationship with God is one that needs work on a daily basis. It is one that will always need work because I will always need to strive to be better...to be more like Him...to show His love. Like I said before sometimes I feel this need to walk away, which in all honesty is silly because I definitely do not need to walk away from Him, but I need more than anything to reach out my hand and grab Him, holding on for dear life. But in those times that I do walk away and I do (that's what sin is...me walking away from Him...to my desire...to my want...to my selfishness...) He doesn't walk away from me. When I walk away, saying "God, I am done with this." He gets it and doesn't push me, but in my heart I hear Him say, "Okay, well I will be here waiting for you. I am not going anywhere." And He keeps His promise. When I return He is still there, waiting for me, having never left. I like that about Him.


I like the fact that I don't really have to tell God what's going on because sometimes words don't come to me. It's nice to not always have to be speak, but just be... its nice that sometimes all I have to do is say His name and He gets it.

I like how when I mess up He doesn't throw it in my face and when I come to Him and say,"God I've really messed up, big time." He doesn't say "I told you so!" Even though He did...

I like how He forgives me....constantly, without any hesitation. Freely He gives it. All I have to do is ask and He forgives. I like how, at times I will say, "NO God, I am not forgiving that person!" But then, He works on my heart and I forgive, just like He forgives. I like how He helps me to forgive people I don't think at times deserve forgiving, how He helps me forgive....me.

I like how He knows who you need in your life....and who you don't. I like how there are people in my life who are so much like Him and who speak HIS TRUTH to me....even when its hard, even when I don't want to hear it

I like how when I read the Bible I feel like He is speaking directly to me. His words give me direction and guidance. They give me hope, they show me His love. I like that He wrote those words just for me.

I like how He has a plan....and its not one that I know or can see, but it will not fail. It will be much bigger than I can imagine and it will bring Him glory.

I like how when I am weak He is strong. So strong.

....There are so many things I like about Him. I know I will think of more things to add to this list and maybe I will.

Tell me- what do you like about Him?

Genesis 16 through 21

I must say that sometimes I won't have thoughts on some of what I've read. I will express somethings, but not always everything. In these chapters many things are shared, but only a few things jumped out at me.

Abram and Sara very much want children even though they are to old. God promises, however, that they will have a child. This isn't something they understand because how could it possibly happen? They are far to old! Sara actually laughs when she hears that she will have a baby. Gods response to that is turning to Abraham and asking, "Is anything too hard for God?"No because just like God promised they were given a baby, whom they named Isaac.

This stuck out to me, not because I exactly say things are too hard for God, but because I live in such a way at times... there are times where I am so anxious and worried about the life I live. When will I get a job? It won't come! What will my job be? Nothing of any importance! Will I be good at it? No because I don't know anything! Where will the money come from? Nowhere! I am going to be poor forever! Questions after questions with no answers it seems, but truth be told God is the answer. Nothing is too hard for Him! When will I get a job? In God's time. What will my job be? What God wants it to be...where He wants me to be. Will I be good at it? God will prepare me. He has yet to let me fail. I do have knowledge, more than I think and it is from Him. Where will money come from? From God...it always comes. I've never gone without.

Thank God that NOTHING is TOO HARD for Him! Thank You for Your timing. Thank You for Your will. Thank You for giving me all I need.

At the end of chapter 21 Sara's son is being made fun of by Hagar, who is the son of a slave. This upsets Sara very much and she tells Abraham that he must get rid of them. They were sent off with some water and wandered into the desert. The mother was worried because without water her son would surely die. She cried, not wanting to watch her son die. God heard her son crying ad came to her saying, "Don't be afraid. God has heard the boy and knows the fix he's in. Up now; go get the boy. Hold him tight. I'm going to make of him a great nation."-Genesis22:17-18 (the message). Then God made a well appear and the mother gave her boy a cool drink of water.

What stuck out to me here was "God has heard the boy and knows the fix he's in." God knows our troubles, our needs, our desires. He will not leave us without, just like He did not leave the boy without the water he so desperately needed. God will always provide us with what we need and if we do go without, the way I see it, we didn't really need it or God has found some other way to help us with our troubles, provide us with our needs, and give us our desires.

Other thoughts from today: This morning I was thinking about the times I want to run from God. Sometimes, being a Christian I get super tired. It's hard always having to make the right choices, having to read my Bible all the time , having to love people , having to keep my morals straight....not that I always do those things...most of the time I don't. Sometimes I just want to run the other direction...far far far away from God. I want to make my own choices that have nothing to do with reading my Bible, loving people, or keeping my morals straight. But then I thought some more... and those times I've drifted away aren't great times. When I don't have God in my life I feel like something is missing and life just doesn't feel right. So, I'm glad that I haven't drifted away from Him. I'm glad that He has my heart and keeps in close to Him.

Genesis 11 through 15

In chapter 11 God turns His people's language into babble and spreads them through out the earth. I always liked this story...simply because to me it explained why everyone else talks in different languages. We all used to speak one language, but being able to talk to one another caused a problem. The people decided that they were going to build a tower to Heaven and we're able to do this because they could communicate with this. God knew that if they could do this, then they could do other things, so He made it so they could no longer communicate and no longer live close by one another. I think there is a bigger picture to why God did this. I don't believe its because He doesn't want us to communicate - how the world would be a mess if that were true! But I believe His reasoning behind this (and maybe I'm wrong) is because they were able to do something without Him. They didn't need God to get to Heaven! They were just going to build a tower to get there! Needing God is important and He wanted His people to realize it!

In the chapters 12 through 15 the Bible talks about Abram. God tells Abram "Leave your country, your family, and your father's home for a land that I will show you." -Genesis12:1 (the message). He explains to Abram if he does this he will be blessed, so Abram trusting God and His word leaves his country, his family, and his father's home. There are hard times - how can there not be when you leave what you know? But still Abram's listens to God and continues on his journey. In chapter 15 God speaks to Abram in a vision. He says, "Don't be afraid, Abram. I'm your shield. Your reward will be grand."-Genesis15:1(the message). Abram, still, however, has his doubts. He asks God - how do I know this will all be mine? And what good is it if I do not have a son? In the end God makes a covenant with Abram telling him that he will give this land to Abram's children.

I thought about a few things as I read. One was how often does God tell me to go somewhere? I've heard Him a few times...sometimes going...sometimes ignoring Him. Yet, God is not telling me to go just to go. There is a reason behind it. There is a plan. God may have at times told me to leave my home, my family, and my friends and yes, maybe it would have been super hard, but along with Him telling me that I am sure there would have been blessings to follow. Maybe there would have been blessings for me...how can there not be when listening to God? When following Him? When obeying Him? Maybe there would have been blessings for others, which, would be so good because my heart, the heart God has placed in me does love to help others. Yet, I haven't always done what God has told me to do. Even though I know at times God has told me, just like He told Abram..."Do not be afraid, daughter. I'm your shield."

I hope next time I listen because that is what this has told me:
-Listen more to God.
-Do not be afraid.
-He is always with you, no matter where you go.
-His plans for you are bigger than you know.

Thought of today: "God doesn't play dice" He isn't trying new things out on my life. He isn't guessing at the outcomes. He made me. He knows me. He has everything under His control.

I have to remind myself of that daily, sometimes, even multiple times a day. God knows my past. He knows my future. It was all part of His plan. He isn't playing some game and deciding as my life goes along. Everything-ALL in life-is under His control.

PRAISE God for His love. PRAISE God for His plan. Praise God for having His hand over all my life!

Genesis 3 through 10

There were a few things that stuck out to me in these chapters.

God searched for Adam and Eve in the garden and when he found them He also found that they had been decieved by the serpent. It says, "The serpent was clever, more cleven than any wild animal God had made." I thought about this... the serpent surely is the most clever animal God has created... He lies so well. He knows how to trick. He knows how to manipulate. He knows how to destroy all God has built whether it has been physical things or spiritual things. The serpent knows how to hurt God's people. He throws lies at them constantly and can cause some much damage, but God is better than him. The serpent may be able to throw lies at us, but God gives us the truth. The serpent may be able to destroy us, but God can rebuild us. The serpent may be able to hurt us, but God loves us. The serpent may be strong, but God is stronger! Praise Jesus!

It hurt God greatly that the serpent was able to decieve Adam and Eve. It hurt Him deeply that they listened. It hurt Him so deeply that He decided it was best to destroy the human race...all except for Noah because God liked what He saw in Noah. He had Noah build a ship for him and his family, along with every type of animal God had created. But He wiped out the rest. "I am going to bring a flood on the Earth that will destroy everything alive under Heaven. Total destruction"-(Genesis6:17-the message). God kept Noah and his family because He liked what He saw in Noah...Then God thought to himself,"I'll never again curse the ground because of people. I know they have this bent toward evil from any early age, but I'll never again kill off everything living as I've done."-(Genesis8:21). He made this convenant with Noah - that the earth will never again be destroyed by floodwaters.

"This is the sign of the convenant I am making between me and you and everything living around you and everyone after you. I'm putting my rainbow in the clouds, a sign of the covenant between me and the Earth. From now on, when I form a cloud over the Earth and the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll remember my convenant between me and you and everything living, that never again will floodwaters destroy all life. When the rainbow appears in the cloud, I'll see it and rememeber the eternal convenant between God and everything living, every last living creature on Earth"-Genesis9:12-16 (the message)


Thought of today: I noticed that the word sin is in Christian. I think this is important. I make a lot of mistakes, I sin a whole lot... Sometimes I've even had people say to me, "That's not very Christian of you." They may be right, but just because I am a Christian doesn't mean sin is not still present in my life. I believe I sin just as much as the non believer - it's different maybe because of how I deal with it and what I do with it, but sin is still in my life just like it is in the word Christian. Sin is part of the fall of man, but God is bigger than my sin, He died for it and with Him, only with Him can I conquer it!

Genesis 2

In this chapter God forms rivers and trees,beautiful trees... one tree that He made was the tree of knowledge of good and evil. He also formed a man, but realized that man could not live alone because that would cause him to be lonely, so He also created a woman, from the man. He told them that they could eat from any tree, other than the tree of knowledge because if they did they would die. At the end of the chapter is says, "The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame."

The last part is what stuck out to me the most. They felt no shame. Yes, it was because they hadn't yet eaten from the tree of knowledge, but its still what stuck out me. After the eat from the tree they feel great shame because they messed up - big time! They did exactly what God told them not to! However, Jesus died for our sins... sins like Adam and Eve committed...the sin of not listening , not obeying Him. So, I wonder if were supposed to go back to NOT FEELING SHAME. Jesus was nailed to the cross for our sins. He died to take on all of it - our shames, our guilts, our really really bad choices. So maybe, just maybe we are to go back to when Adam and Eve felt no shame and FEEL NO SHAME, but allow it to be nailed to the cross.

I've been thinking about sin a lot today. We all sin. We can try to deny it...try to hide from it...but no matter what our lives prove that its there. However, I believe that some people deal with their sin better than others. Now, I'm not just talking about how they control it better than others (or so it seems), but what I mean is some people acknowledge their sin, go to God about it, and then they move on....they let go...and live their life as if the sin is done and over with, which is it is because God says so. God does bring our past sins to our attention on a daily basis, but fully forgives. I think, however, a lot of people (myself included in this) believe otherwise.

Let me explain with a picture and a metaphor:

This is my attempt at a scoreboard. A lot of the time people believe that God is counting their sins against them. They believe God couldn't possibly love or care about them because they sin so much, so deeply. However, its more like my picture. God takes on our sins. They aren't counted against us, but He died for our sins, so its more like My sin-O and God taking on the sin-+50. God loves us that much. He is that good!

Genesis 1 and so on...

I have to warn you - I have absolutely no idea how this blog is going to look. Some days I may read just one chapter in the Bible. Other days I may read a whole book. Some days I may blog multiple times a day about different things and other days, I may not have access to a computer (that is a slim chance) It's all really up in the air. I also have to warn you that when it comes to my thoughts and my writing sometimes its all over the place. That's me - messy at times, but it doesn't matter... all that matters is that you get a glimpse into the good book. Maybe you've read it, maybe you haven't, but I hope your soul gets a drink whenever you read because that's what its about. His word will fill you, it will satisfy you. All you have to do is open the book and read.

Tonight I read Genesis 1, which talks about God creating the earth and all in it.

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
God said,"Let there be light," and there was light.
God said,"Let there be an expanse between the waters to separate water from water."
God said,"Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear."
God said,"Let the land produce vegetation"
God said,"Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give lights on the earth."
God said,"Let the water teen with the living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky."
God said,"Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sear and the birds of the air, over the live stock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
(NIV)

The things God said are what stuck out to me the most in this chapter. As I was reading I couldn't help but think about how awesome it is that God simply spoke and things happened, things were formed, life was created! God is so amazing that all He has to do is speak and life just happens. How cool is that? I think that's how God is in my life....just because He is in my life, just because He speaks to me and guides me things happen in my life, that otherwise wouldn't happen.

Thought of today: The gospel is meant to extend to all people...even those hated.

The Beginning

Here, on this blog are where two of my passions, Jesus and writing, come together.

Let me explain: Do you ever have ideas come to you at the weirdest times? The other night I was lying in bed unsuccessfully trying to sleep, when a project popped into my head. That's where this blog comes into play. I have a heart for God... my heart has been shaped and guided by Him. God speaks to me and I honestly believe His thoughts...His words...my experiences with Him aren't to be kept to myself, but shared. As a Christian I am called to share the gospel. How else would others hear about Him if it weren't for people who know? Who are willing to stand up and share? I am doing it a bit differently, however. I am not one that would stand on a street corner with a sign that says, "Jesus loves you!" I'm not opposed to the idea, but that just isn't my style. Nor am I the one to insert Jesus into the conversation with a stranger. I am, however, the person who would talk about my experiences with God if the topic comes up. I am one who tries to live my life in such a way that those around me can see Jesus in me...and hopefully can see His love too. That's what I am aiming for this blog to be about- sharing His word and showing that Jesus loves His people and the world that He created. The plan is for me to read through the Bible-from the beginning to the end-and blog about what I've read. I will also blog about other things that Christians deal with. God is the desire of my heart and in my heart He has also placed the passion of writing, not just about anything, but about Him. I want to give Him all the glory and hopefully, through writing...through sharing His words, that can be done.

So, here's to the beginning of reading through His word and sharing it along with whatever else He lays on my heart.

From His word...to my heart...to you.