I gave Him my heart

The Bible is important, but more than that, it is vital to ones relationship to God. You cannot call yourself a Christian if you do not read the word, but is reading the word enough...or does there have to be meaning to it? Of course! But I believe the meaning can be different for everyone...yes, the truth in the words are laid out plain and simple. You do not have to search for the truth, but it is right there in front of you. However, what I mean is maybe the meaning is different...maybe the Bible means something different to each person depending on how they came to Christ. Maybe they read His words and take something different from it depending on what they've experienced, depending on how they've come to know God, depending on what He has done in their life.

When I read His words I may take something different from it than others. I may feel something different. His words may affect me in ways different than it would affect others. Why? I believe its because of how I came to know Christ...how Christ shaped me through my experiences... I think its easy for Christians to say that the Bible is important, but those who aren't Christians may not get why...and maybe that's when we should share our testimony and say, "this is why His words are important...this is why my relationship with Him is my life." People's testimony's are different...no one is the same. Some may seem plain and simple, while others may be heart wrenching and hard to hear, yet, they are all significant, all important because they unite us with God. So, here I am, wanting to explain why His words, why having Him in my life is important to me.

My testimony...my life with Christ...has made me who I am today. Without experiencing what I have in life, without going through some heartaches, some pain...I'm not sure I would have come to Christ. Therefore, I thank Him for the difficult times...it lead me to Him.

I grew up going to church, but it was very much different than the church I know now. I went to the catholic church and swore, when I was in elementary school, that when I was old enough to make my own choices and my mom didn't force me to go to church, I would no longer go...but that changed and for that change, in my heart, I am also thankful. I was really depressed when I was in 6th grade...whether it be because I was really hurting or just because I was a overly emotional girl who made things more dramatic. Then, it seemed like depression, not drama. So, in saying that, let me explain. I was "depressed" for many reasons. I struggled with my relationship with my parents..especially my dad, never feeling like he was there the way I needed him to be and having a lot of anger because of that. I never got to see my half brother, which depressed me a lot because I missed him...I wanted to know him, yet it was out of my control. I also had lost a friend in 3rd grade, which still affected me then, even though I'm not sure why...I think death was just hard for me in general. And I had my heartbroken for the first time that year as well. I cried a lot and just felt down...started thinking a lot about death and suicide..started thinking about cutting myself.

It only got worse as time went on, as I went to junior high and onto high school. I took drugs a few times, never really liking them, but trying them because everyone else around me was. I got into really bad relationships that took a lot of things away from me...and it crushed my soul. I lost a lot of myself by doing those things and being in those relationships. I fought with my parents, felt like I hated them at times. I did start cutting myself and at times, really didn't want to live. Throughout all this though...I prayed... not always great prayers, not ones God would honor, I don't think, but still I prayed. And even though God didn't answer the prayers the way I wanted Him to...He listened, He heard me and He knew my pain.

There's a lot more to my story...a lot more details, which I'd be more willing to share elsewhere, but there's so much to it. So much grace. In high school, my freshman year, that is I met a great friend, who will remain a friend for life. She knew I was struggling, as did many people, I assume and invited me to youth group. Little did I know, that this would change my life, change me... I started going to youth group with her, I started learning about God. I learned about His love. I learned about His forgiveness. I learned about what He wanted for my life...and one summer, the summer before my senior year of high school, I went to church camp and that's when I made the choice... to give my heart to Jesus and Jesus gave His heart to me as well. I sat behind the cabin, on a rock, and admitted that I was tired of my life...tired of living the way I was, making the choices I was and I knew that I needed Him to change me. So, I asked Him too and He did.

I am not perfect...giving my heart to Him did not make me perfect, but it changed me forever. It made me different. It made my life better. Grace came down on me...everyday it still does.

I hope you've given Him your heart. He desperately wants you to.